At this point in my internship, I’ve become pretty well versed in the art of shrink wrapping. But today, I was given the Level 201 Pointer: try and get the corners to tuck in nicely. So as I set about to my task of shrink wrapping with special care to corners, I was met with success. 50% of the time. And it was literally only with the Spirit’s protection that Satan didn’t get to lodge some dumb lie in my heart like “Ruthiey, you’re the worst at shrink wrapping you can’t do anything.” 1 Peter 5:8 “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” egh. But I’ve heard and believed that lie and worse ones before.
Ask any one who lives in my house. aka my parents or my sister. Sometimes I can get RIDICULOUSLY frustrated with myself and get super door-slammy. One time I broke the light pull-string thing because in my angst I yanked it too hard. Broke a drawer once, too. Sobbed and screamed over difficult dinner rolls. All because I sometimes believe the lie that “you should have done better than this, dumb-ass.”
All of these events are now making me realize how much Satan and the Holy Spirit must battle over my pride. Feel-good pride and tear-down pride. Because my pride is easily ignited. There are so many things that I could, and sometimes have, taken pride in: how bad other, past interns had been, how my boss trusts me, how many friends I have, how good my bread is, that I go to William and Mary, how fun YL club is, how nice my art is, how sound advice I can give.
For most of my life I did pretty well on my own. Pretty good grades, friends, general successes. But it wasn’t until I started living life with Jesus that I really saw how much of everything I had ever counted as a success to any degree is “For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever!” Roman 11:36
I hate false modesty just as much as the next person. Been there, done PLENTY of that. Wanting to take credit and feel pride, but not wanting to be ‘that person’. I wanna give credi where credit is due. Credit is due to the Creator and Protector, our Great God Almighty.
Jesus is not a fairy-god-mother. He’s better because He’s real and more powerful. Phenomenal cosmic power without the itty-bitty living space. Unless you count itty-bitty living space to be our own fleshy cages. Which is great for us. We can hold the entire power of the infinite God in ourselves. And God can wield that power through us. John 14:12 “Truly, truly, I (Jesus) say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do…”
I used to think moments of being humbled were failures. Cold and hard. But now, things that could still be labeled ‘failures’ are now moments where the Spirit says “Whoa, now, honey. Let me handle this one.”